Monday, September 15, 2008

An ELEPHANT's eye view.


AN ELEPHANT’S EYE VIEW

-Shivangi Vyasulu

There once was a little elephant called Tiny who used to love playing with all the dogs in the nieghbourhood. Every time there was a Football game, Tiny was chosen to be the goal keeper and never got to run like the other dogs. When they played running races, he came last and when they played fetch he always crushed the stick instead of bringing it back. Tiny was very sad. He stopped playing with the dogs and had no friends. He was bored to find that all his parents and elder brother did was pick up heavy tree trunks, move rocks and visit the temple. He decided that when he grew up he would do something more creative with his life. He wanted to be around children and other animals all the time. He started spending a lot of time near the local zoo, near construction sites and by the river side.

One day while playing on the river bank, he looked into the river and was surprised to find that he had grown really tall and big. “Yippee!” he trumpeted, “now I can finally start working in the zoo!” He went rushing off to find his parents and give them the exciting news. When he reached home, his mother his mother was very happy to see him. She had found him a really fun and creative job at the river. The humans were starting a water park near the river and they wanted Tiny to help with the water boarding stall. He was to spray water with force behind the children on the board and that would push them across the river. He would then have to put them on his back and let them slide down his trunk into the splash pool. Tiny was very happy but confused. He wanted to work at the zoo. He told his parents about his plan to work at the zoo, feeding all the animals.

He would carry all the different foods in sacks hanging from his back, and go from room to room handing over all the animals their meals. He would take little children on his back in a little box at feeding time and introduce them to all his friends at the zoo. Naughty, the chimpanzee would be so happy to see the children, High, the giraffe would really like his food being put on the top bowl in his rooms so that he would not have to bend all the way down to get his dinner. Big, the hippopotamus liked her food served to her on the bank of the pond, because she liked to sit in the pond in summer. Humans just didn’t understand these things, and Tiny was so happy because he could help his friends and the little children this way.

In the mornings, he would work at the river side water park and spray across and slide children into the water. With the money he earned, he would buy himself new ornaments every week and take classes in football. He thought he may even join the BIG SHOTS football team as Goal keeper. He was very good at goal keeping anyway! Tiny finally realized that his life made sense once again and that you don’t always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get something very close to your dream.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

How to feed fussy Kids... A guide to parents and baby-sitters.




I was always told that my sister was a very fussy eater. She wouldn’t eat till my mother cried because she thought her great effort to cook my sister’s favorite food was unnoticed. She would make my mother do the usual method of showing her the crows and the dogs while feeding her. Finally she would declare that she’d only eat if the crows and dogs got a share too…it always ended with the crows eating more food than her.

On the other hand, I don’t particularly remember eating that well as a kid, but nevertheless, I’m one-and-a-half my elder sister’s size…. Now, how can that be?

Well, the truth lies in my father’s theory - one that has me really believing in it.

I call this `theory’, the `trick any fussy kids’ theory.It is guaranteed to give all fussy kids the nutrition they need and more!

He says, there is a great appetite specialist in a place called Imstarved, by the name of Mr.I’llfeedyourkids – for short Mr.I’ll. Mr. I’ll is a man with no biological children, but a lot of adopted children who helped him find this solution.

He discovered this theory when a child came to him and said `I’m hungry but my mom says I’ll grow fat if I eat too much’. His solution was this theory where a kid could eat as much or as little as it wants and yet be healthy…

Once you take your kid to him, he gives the kid some candy to eat and before the kid realizes what is happening, fixes a zipper to the stomach. Voila! Instant trick… Now you can give your kid all the nutrition needed without the hassle.

The reason this is a success is because, the zip is seamless, and only the parents can see it. This also makes nutrition easier. Milk, vegetables, and all the stuff kids hate are conveniently stored away in the stomach.

Once you bring your kid back, no trouble…no crying…no more fussing. If your kid refuses to eat, so be it. Once the kid is asleep, out comes the food, the zipper is opened and the food is stuffed in. The kid wakes up without a clue… could you imagine trying to make your kid drink a big glass of milk?

Within a span of time, no skinny malnourished kids but strong healthy ones.

And, guess what? They don’t particularly remember eating!

I have finally realized the trick played on me. But, so what? A lot more parents are now relieved of the `fussy eater’ hassle.

To know more about this theory,call our hotline at MY-CHILD-WILL-NOT-EAT any time between 2.30 am and 2.45 am.